Drink like a pirate

Do you know how hard it is for me not to bust out with a lot of corny seafaring jargon for this story about the new Judd’s Hill winery pirate-themed Internet show? Hard.

But because I am a trained professional I will restrain myself from avasting, shiver-me-timbering, and the like, and inform you calmly and collectedly that Judd Finkelstein, the Terry Gilliam of wine country, has released episode one of his new Wine Booty show.

The format is talk-show style, with Finkelstein hosting wine country figures in a studio decked out like the inside of a pirate ship. (Pirates have long been a kind of Judd’s Hill mascot for a while now. His previous Internet series Judd’s Enormous Wine Show featured random appearances by a behatted buccaneer.)

Episode one, above, features Heidi Barrett, who is one of California’s best-known vintners and was the winemaker for the famous “cult” winery Screaming Eagle. She is rather a good choice having recently released a new pirate-themed wine, TreasuRed, (you got that, right?) under her own La Sirena brand.

So, first, how cool is it that one winemaker is publicizing another winemaker’s product? Pretty cool. I don’t think you’re going to see the Coke dude telling people about the exciting new Pepsi flavor that’s out.

Second, Barrett’s new wine looks like a lot of fun. It’s a blend of seven red grapes, comes in a bottle that looks kind of like an old-fashioned rum bottle and has a treasure-y looking map of the Napa Valley on the label. A six-pack comes in a box decorated like a pirate’s chest. Somebody needs to send some of this to Johnny Depp, stat.

Things I learned from the show — the lovely and accomplished Barrett is also a scuba diver and helicopter pilot. Also, having talk show guests exit by walking the plank is a great idea and, I think, would improve a lot of the network late-night offerings.

So check out Wine Booty. But be sure you’re over 17. After all, this is an Arrr-rated show.

Sorry, held it in as long as I could.

Cheers, nautically.